J'ai dit 'non' à chaque demande non-essentielle pendant une semaine — et voici le résultat

  • Chaque jour, je jongle entre un travail à temps plein, des échéances d'indépendante et une vie sociale active.
  • Je suis aussi généreuse et j'aime rendre les gens heureux, mais au fil des ans, j'ai appris que mon temps avait de la valeur et que, des fois, il fallait dire non.
  • J'ai dit non à chaque demande non-essentielle pendant une semaine, et voici ce qu'il s'est passé.

Nous sommes tous débordés — c'est un fait. Chaque jour, je jongle entre un travail à temps plein, des échéance de travailleuse indépendante ainsi qu'une vie sociale et amoureuse active. Ce n'est pas rare pour moi d'avoir des plans sept soirées par semaine — mon emploi du temps est chargé des semaines à l'avance.

Je suis aussi généreuse, et j'aime rendre les gens heureux, du coup dire "non" est plus difficile.

En tant que personne qui chronomètre chaque heure de son temps, l'expérience consciente de dire "non" plus souvent m'a intriguée.

Au fil des ans, j'ai appris à dire non aux choses qui me rendent anxieuse, comme les fêtes pour les vacances ou les évènements avec beaucoup de monde. Idem lorsqu'il s'agit de faire ce que les gens pensent que je "devrais" faire. Les décisions prises dans un moment de culpabilité sont rarement bonnes, pour qui que ce soit.

Warren Buffet a un jour dit; "La différence entre les personnes qui ont du succès et celles qui ont beaucoup de succès c'est que celles qui ont beaucoup de succès disent 'non' à quasiment tout."

J'ai commencé à dire "non" à tout ce qui n'était pas essentiel, tout ce qui ne m'enthousiasmait pas ou qui pouvait me distraire. Le temps est la plus inestimable de mes ressources et je me suis délectée en mettant en place des limites strictes.

Voici quelques choses auxquelles j'ai dit "non":

1. Les messages Facebook non sollicités.

Il n'y a aucune raison pour que je sois aussi accessible. Flickr/Janitors

Les gens me contactent sur trois boites mails différentes, par SMS, Instagram, Twitter, et Facebook. Facebook Messenger est la seule application distincte, alors je l'ai supprimée de mon téléphone. Il n'y a absolument aucune raison pour que je sois aussi facilement accessible, et sur autant de plateformes différentes.

2. Je consultais mes messages privés sur les réseaux sociaux deux fois par jour.

Je consulte mes messageries de réseaux sociaux moins souvent. Flickr/Garry Knight

J'ai réduit le nombre de fois où je consulte mes messageries sur les réseaux sociaux. De même, je ne ressentais plus le besoin de répondre obligatoirement à tout le monde rapidement — voire je ne répondais pas du tout.

3. Je ne répondais plus systématiquement à tous mes SMS ou messages sur les applications de rencontre.

rawpixel.com/Unsplash

Sauf si une réponse immédiate est nécessaire, je prends mon temps pour répondre aux messages comme "Comment tu vas?" ou "Qu'est-ce que tu fais?" Ces questions sont gentilles, mais ce ne sont pas des urgences.

4. Je disais non aux personnes qui demandaient "ce que j'aurais fait à leur place".

Ma bête noire : les gens qui me demandent "ce que j'aurais fait à leur place".  Flickr/149902454@N08

Incontestablement, les gens qui me demandent "ce que j'aurais fait à leur place" sont ma bête noire. C'est flatteur d'être approchée pour des conseils, mais cela arrive tout le temps. J'ai si peu de temps libre et les connaissances que j'ai accumulées au fil des années sont précieuses. Il faut plus qu'une tasse de café pour me convaincre de laisser tomber ce qui me permet de payer mes factures.

5. Je disais 'non' aux petits services.

Chaque jour, je jongle entre un travail à temps plein, des délais de freelance et une vie sociale active.  Flickr/pedrosimoes7

Comme je suis une écrivaine, les gens semblent croire que je suis capable de toute activité d'écriture. Ils me demandent de regarder leur bio de travail, leur CV,  des communiqués de presse, des textes de site internet — pour n'en citer que quelques-uns.

Le fait que je puisse faire ces choses ne signifie pas que j'apprécie de les faire ou que j'en ai le temps. Il y a une tonne de projets créatifs sur lesquels je préfèrerais travailler.

Durant mon expérience, j'ai dit non à la relecture d'une bio de 100 mots et au fait de regarder le premier brouillon d'un article. Prises une par une, aucune de ces tâches ne me demande beaucoup de temps, mais en les additionnant, cela fait beaucoup d'heures de travail si je dis oui.

6. Je ne répondais pas aux discours non sollicités ou hors-sujet.

Au lieu de cliquer "répondre" pour les messages inutiles, je clique "supprimer". Flickr/Alexei Kuznetsov

Je suis constamment bombardé de messages publicitaires. Des dizaines et des dizaines. Toute la journée. J'ai essayé d'être aussi polie que possible, mais il n'y a pas assez d'heures dans une journée pour répondre à chaque message. En plus, nombreux sont non sollicités et ne me concernent pas.

Au lieu de cliquer "répondre" sur ces messages sans intérêt, je sélectionne "supprimer". Et vous savez quoi? Je ne regrette pas du tout. Tout ceci est du business avant tout, et le temps, c'est de l'argent.

7. 'Pouvez vous faire une recommandation?'

Ce n'est pas parce que j'ai de l'expérience dans un domaine que je peux donner des conseils d'expert. Pexels/Bruce Mars

Si les gens ne me demandent pas ce que j'aurais fait à leur place ou des petits services, ils me demandent de leur conseiller des restaurants ou des lieux de vacances. En temps normal, je suis contente d'aider, de partager toutes mes amusantes et délicieuses trouvailles. Le fait est que cela prend du temps de rassembler toutes mes suggestions, puisqu'il faut prendre en considération les intérêts des gens quand on dresse les listes.

Cette semaine, j'ai dit "non" à deux demandes de recommandations de restaurant à Seattle, une à Vancouver, et une pour un voyage en famille en Islande. La personne qui a fait cette dernière demande devrait savoir que je ne connais absolument rien aux voyage en famille — j'organise volontairement mes voyage en évitant les familles.

Une fois de plus, le fait que je m'y connaisse en un sujet — ici les voyages — ne signifie pas que je suis une experte universelle.

8. Les vidéos, articles et memes.

J'ai arrêté de cliquer sur des vidéos inutiles, des articles, des GIFs ou des memes. Pixabay

J'ai arrêtée de cliquer sur des vidéos inutiles, des articles, des GIFs ou des memes. Je n'ai pas le temps pour des memes stupides de Bob L'Eponge. Point.

Après une semaine passée à dire "non", j'ai décidé d'utiliser ce mot plus fréquemment à l'avenir. Cette simple action m'a fait gagner du temps et de l'espace mental, et cela fait du bien. Je veux donner plus d'attention à mes priorités et préserver mon temps plus farouchement. Ce n'est pas vous, c'est moi. Pour de vrai.

Version originale: Charyn Pfeuffer/Business Insider

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